Sunday, October 5, 2008

Healing post # 2 (modified)

I wrote this on the comments below, about showing one another our wounds. I modified it a bit here so it wouldn't be misconstrued...

Yeah, not easy, first of all to admit stuff to ourselves... It took me a long, long time... to really face how I'd been abused and even some of the whys (not that it was my fault). It turned my whole world upside down and shook it severely, fiercely. I didn't know who I was and I was very mad to say the least. Emotionally and even physically, I felt like I was gonna die. And there is still residue... it's SUCH a process. Whew, for sure!
There's so much shame and guilt tied to sexual abuse, no wonder most have such a hard time admitting it to themselves, let alone sharing it and grieving. Actually, I think this is the case for any form of abuse. But in the light of love, each of us can face painful realities (but only in the light of love). And in this light we can heal one another. (We are the hands and feet of Jesus...)
I think we each sort of sense when we are in a safe place to reveal our wounds. In relationship, it's a process. We don't bear everything at once. (I've shared too much of my wounds before to the wrong folks... but I guess we learn through trial and error. God still had my healing in mind, even if in my need I trusted too much, foolishly. He's just amazing.

... I can look back and say he's held me through some horrible storms, so I can only believe he will yet hold me, hold me forever.

7 comments:

Amy said...
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Manuela said...

Hi Amy. I left you a note on messenger...

Free Spirit said...

Beautiful, Manuela.
I pray your healing goes to the core and into every crevice of your being. May nothing remain untouched by Him.

Manuela said...

thank you free spirit!

Katherine Gunn said...

Manuela, wow, yes. Sharing is essential to healing. Finding someone you can trust - now there is the hard art. Well, a hard part. There process itself of opening up and sharing - seeing - understanding, is unbelievably hard. Thank you for sharing.

Manuela said...

Deep childhood betrayals and wounds are so hard to deal with...it feels so out of time sometimes too. It can get so confusing. But the light does break, every time, sooner or later. I'm finding I need to keep my eyes on Him, even as I deal with past things. He will guide me into them. It can be challenging to keep my faith because of the flood of emotions... He becomes blurry...but I know He can take it :) When we come to the other side, our confidence in Him grows a little more... and thank God for loving brothers and sisters!!
love-

Katherine Gunn said...

Yes, Manuela, thank God for loving sisters...