Wednesday, February 24, 2010

where apathy comes from?

I think everyone only learns through serious hardship. We only change our ways after we become extremely uncomfortable with the way things have been going. We try new things, maybe too many new things, get spread too thin and then back track and re-think things. And this is good, because I think our lives are not supposed to be so very complicated. They become complicated when we enmesh ourselves in all kinds of things and situations that pull us away from what's important, ever so subtly and slowly. We need a quiet discernment, and it comes through great "unhappiness"

We are faced with so very many choices everyday, much more than anyone at any other time in history, I believe. Especially with technology and the internet providing myriads and myriads of avenues for everything.... But how spread out can we become, without losing something very vital, I really wonder....?

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

quotable quotes...

"Ideally, the Church is a pilgrim people, blissfully happy in their indifference to wealth and possession, unworried by the insecurity of all systems and institutions because they know they have no abiding city here. They are en route, a learning people, always ready to admit their errors in the face of truth, welcoming the truth where it is found, and knowing that it can be found among all peoples, whether Christian or not." (Gerard W Hughes)

"It does not take a majority to prevail...but rather an irate,
tireless minority, keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds
of men." -Samuel Adams

john 6:28, 29 "...Then they said to Him, “What shall we do, that we may work the works of God?” Jesus answered and said to them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He sent.”

1 john 4:1 "Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world." (jesus)

Thursday, February 18, 2010


I'm thankful there is hope and that God promised to win. I'm thankful he still speaks to his children and keeps them though all sorts of calamities. I'm thankful he can be found in the deepest struggles and most intense insecurities and heartaches and loneliness and brokenness.
I'm thankful he finds a way to break through every time and that his truth is greater than any lie. I'm thankful he really sees and makes a way.
I'm thankful he really wants to connect his children and will make sure of it. I'm thankful he does not relent.
I'm thankful he can make a beautiful oasis in the dessert journey. How he is drawing near to those crumbling or close to death. I'm thankful that he brings life and that he can not be contained. I'm thankful his light breaks and scatters the darkness and that he is the Living word, and there is no lie in him.
I'm thankful he is and will forever be.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Reality check

If you don't face and confront the evil done to you, you will become that evil.

This really came to mind this morning... Those of us on a search for truth and to live in reality can't escape this. It is unavoidable and it only follows that great courage is needed, and also that it is a PROCESS. If you know you that you are at least moving in that direction, then you know you are on the right path, though it is so painful sometimes. Little victories can be celebrated, though brought by great sweat and tears. It is amazing to me the power greater than oneself to keep on this path.

I watched "The Fellowship of the Ring" again last night and the courage Frodo and his friends demonstrated was very inspiring to me. Frodo had a burden no one else had, but his friends weren't about to leave him, especially one friend, no matter what the cost was-- evil could not, would not, prevail; a fellowship was needed. I love this trilogy (despite the ugly site of the orcs...) It has such a profound message...

Saturday, February 6, 2010


Okay, so I am back in "the real world" now, where, yes, there is much deception, but also much truth and beauty and many wonderful truth-seekers and children of God.
I am out of the Twelve Tribes Community and so I deleted my previous post. I had enough. It was essentially not what it claimed and that took a while to see. Their claims of themselves are greatly disproportionate to the realities there. This was sad for me to swallow. There are some good, kind people there, but it does NOT measure up, at all, to all their lofty claims.
I wouldn't say I was completely "suckered," I wanted something different than the rat race and I did get it. I experienced a simpler existence in many ways. I sort of went back in time and made some new friends, many of which may sadly no longer consider me a friend... But such is the nature of the beast and controlling systems that I always seem to end up in, in some desperation for normalcy, whatever that means.
I don't mean to make light of a very difficult situation and transition. I am picking up the pieces that were there before I even left.
I am asking myself, what is it that I am really longing for?
I think these are definitely in there:
A simpler life.
Enduring friendships.
More meaningful connections for our family.
Being closer to the earth and it's bounty.
Warmer weather and better scenery... if these could also be granted

I don't think I am asking too much, but these things are a bit elusive these days, I have to admit. I got to work outside quite a bit while I was there, especially in the summer. And that is just part of what I need, a closeness to creation.
I don't think I'm so different from anyone else. My aspirations are not so high except that I can be very impatient in attaining them and so I can make rash, hasty decisions.

But more deeply, there is healing ahead for me... I think the journey home can often be treacherous for all of us, especially in these times. But there is light and love to be known along the way, even if it is in tiny snippets sometimes. I will hold to these for now and press on. I will keep my hope firm.

This is a season of deep thought for me, of re-integrating with my purpose and Creator. Reintegrating within myself, in a sense.

I am glad to be back. I don't know where the wind will take us next, but I know who will be with us...