Okay, so I am back in "the real world" now, where, yes, there is much deception, but also much truth and beauty and many wonderful truth-seekers and children of God.
I am out of the Twelve Tribes Community and so I deleted my previous post. I had enough. It was essentially not what it claimed and that took a while to see. Their claims of themselves are greatly disproportionate to the realities there. This was sad for me to swallow. There are some good, kind people there, but it does NOT measure up, at all, to all their lofty claims.
I wouldn't say I was completely "suckered," I wanted something different than the rat race and I did get it. I experienced a simpler existence in many ways. I sort of went back in time and made some new friends, many of which may sadly no longer consider me a friend... But such is the nature of the beast and controlling systems that I always seem to end up in, in some desperation for normalcy, whatever that means.
I don't mean to make light of a very difficult situation and transition. I am picking up the pieces that were there before I even left.
I am asking myself, what is it that I am really longing for?
I think these are definitely in there:
A simpler life.
More meaningful connections for our family.
Being closer to the earth and it's bounty.
Warmer weather and better scenery... if these could also be granted
I don't think I am asking too much, but these things are a bit elusive these days, I have to admit. I got to work outside quite a bit while I was there, especially in the summer. And that is just part of what I need, a closeness to creation.
I don't think I'm so different from anyone else. My aspirations are not so high except that I can be very impatient in attaining them and so I can make rash, hasty decisions.
But more deeply, there is healing ahead for me... I think the journey home can often be treacherous for all of us, especially in these times. But there is light and love to be known along the way, even if it is in tiny snippets sometimes. I will hold to these for now and press on. I will keep my hope firm.
This is a season of deep thought for me, of re-integrating with my purpose and Creator. Reintegrating within myself, in a sense.
I am glad to be back. I don't know where the wind will take us next, but I know who will be with us...