Sunday, August 3, 2008

Secrets and confessions

My friend Sue made a confession on her blog today and I responded with my secret:

Sometimes I spontaneously play that "....I will be right here waiting for you" song by B Adams on the piano- (and I just don't know why!)
Never consciously thought I liked it. But the subconscious has it's secrets that the conscious cannot betray, though it tries.
Another secret: I loved the song-- "I hope you dance" for quite a while...

Confession breeds confession, it's so therapeutic

I've been reading and devouring Scott Peck's-- The Road Less traveled. I think the man is a genius. I've read this before years ago and I just keep going back to it. I'm also reading A different drum by him (again, genius) He talks a lot about the subconscious and how it has secrets that it wants to tell, that we often run from. He says that mental "illness" symptoms (i.e depression, anxiety) can sometimes be a grace from God, to show us that all is not well and that we shouldn't be so quick to medicate ourselves to just get rid of the discomfort. (He shows a great personal example) We're all too much about comfort here in the west, aren't we?
Lately, I've been dealing with a lot of things from my past and even present and I've been trying not to numb the discomfort. I decided to fast sweets and TV (perhaps a wimpy fast) to distract myself less. Have found pain in my heart is there, but also hope and joy. Sometimes more pain.
Yesterday, I couldn't help but cry in front of my daughter about something. She really questioned me about it....I didn't wanna cry in front of her about this. I just told her about that song by Over the Rhine "I cry just a little bit everyday...Get by just a little bit that way... and how everybody cries and then I thought of the REM song that is such a God-send (I will link it below.) If you're ever depressed or feel alone, listen to it**

Anyway, this has been a ramble of many things I've been thinking about that I haven't had time to share, cause I'm a full-time mommy. I need to find a way to write more... I love my daughter but I need more breaks.
Okay, there's some more things, but I'll ramble about them later

Here's the REM song
(Michael Stype is a genius)


Kirk said...

i thought that "I will be right here waiting.." was by Richard Marx. But, is there really any difference?

thanks for your thoughts about emotions. sometimes a good healthy cry purges the soul.

Manuela said...

Wow, I don't know if to be ashamed (wince- Richard Marx -gulp) or proud of my ignorance.
I try to be a musical snob... but sometimes I betray myself

Yeah, a good healhty cry is a release

Kent said...

Manuela, REM is one of those gems that only comes around every so often. Power song and powerful message.

Be encouraged my sister and friend.

Katherine Gunn said...

Thanks for sharing that song. It is a good one that I had forgotten about. ;-)

Nicole said...

I agree, AMAZING song from REM. One of my faves. I agree with what Kent said, one of those gems that only comes around every so often...

I cried just now reading your blog and seeing so many simularities between your journey and mine!

Touches me deeply!

In Freedom, Nicole!

Sue said...

Ewww! Your Bryan Adams song is MUCH worse than mine :)


artmish said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
artmish said...

I agree it's too easy and tempting to distract ourselves with something pleasurable (so many things to choose from).

In our friendship you've really challenged me to pay attention and understand what the discomfort might be a signal of and that it is important to address the underlying issue instead of just making myself feel good in the moment.

God seems to bring about a deep lasting peace that we can miss when we don't allow him to prune us and refine us. It's hard to learn to embrace the discomfort of the process when most of my life I've tried to avoid it.

Thanks for your thoughts.