Wednesday, August 27, 2008

ill health

Pray for me cyber friends. As many of you know, I struggle with chronic fatigue issues and have bad days once in a while (as I did today)... My daughter was actually sick too with a cold, so we weren't too lovely of a sight (she was way lovelier than me). Maybe it's a cold that's making me sick.... It's hard to tell, I really don't know... still feel weak and gross. My brain is kinda mushed, too. I hate how it affects my outlook and it's so challenging to care for a three year old when I feel this way!!... It's very frustrating. I shouldn't even try to think when I feel so yucky. Everything looks Tales-from-the-darkside-gloomy (that was the most disturbing show ever, that i watched when I was way too impressionable). Anyway, today we watched Winnie the Pooh (for like 2 hrs!) and I can confidently say that EEyore's outlook was definitely better than mine...
I did play piano and sing for a while and that was a bit of a release of some sort, even though It was like an out of body experience at times.
Ohh God, have mercy on me...
I don't feel too happy with myself when I can't do much. I think sometimes I have a hard time giving myself a break... plus I'll get pretty cranky (to put it nicely). So, yeah, say a few words to Papa on my behalf, if anything, for my daughter and husband's sake... God have mercy on them!!
Yeah, I'll drag myself to the doctor when I have the desire and energy, meaning I'll probably wait till I feel better... I know, what's the point, right? (I told you my attitude sucks) I am, though, having my husband refill my asthma inhaler BEFORE I have another attack without one (no, I'm not intentionally suicidal, I just have way too much other stuff on my mind. I do realize oxygen helps you think more clearly so I am taking action on that end)
Okay, I'm gonna go rest and try to not feel guilty about it :)

8 comments:

Sue said...

I started writing an affirming encouraging comment but it ended up sounding like I was telling you what to do - meh.

I'm praying to Papa for you my dear Manuela. I'm praying not for your husband and your daughter but for YOU, that you will somehow find the door to walk down that allows you to REST.

Who would have thought that door would be so hard to find? It's bizarre ...

Manuela said...

thanks Sue. ¥ou're prayer means a lot and I feel the love (in your words :))

Nicole said...

Manu! You need to call a nanny to take care of Maggie while you take care of yourself. Wait, I will be right over... LOL! Ohhh how I wish I could just hop on over and relieve you so you can get better and not feel so overburdened. Maggie had a cold and now you have it. I guess that's how it goes when you are a mother to children. My prayers and lots of thoughts are for you... Take it easy, and don't let guilt take advantage of you. You are sick and that happens to ALL of us. Take care my sweet friend!

Ohh, and that scripture that you shared with me today has been on the forefront of my mind all day while I have been juggling with some rough things as well! Thank you!!! You lifted me up while you were down; I don't know anyone else who has done that before!

Love you.

Love, Nicole!

Kent said...

peace and wellness to you Manuela.

Manuela said...

thank you friends!!
...I feel a bit better today- Praise the Lord!

Joel B. said...

Praying for you, Manuela, for your body and soul as you deal with all this.

Amy said...

Manuela,
I will be praying for you, okay?

"Papa, please bless and comfort Manuela. Give her strength, and heal her both physically and emotionally. May you put peace and patience with her little 3-year old."

Just take it easy, gal!

Blessings,
~Amy :)
http://amyiswalkinginthespirit.blogspot.com

Manuela said...

Thanks Joel and thanks Amy for your thoughtfulness and prayers. I had a much better day today...thanks to caring brothers and sisters : )