We had dinner with some new friends tonight and I shared some thoughts I have about depression... I think that part of the reason so many people are depressed is because they are sad and have no one to talk to. Grief can't be carried alone. We must have someone we can talk to who cares. Someone who will just listen, with a caring heart. Yeah, Jesus is there, but it's nice to have a flesh and blood person too, sometimes. If we are married, our spouse should be there... Though he or she may not be perfect, we must feel safe and like they care, that is the essence of real intimacy, I believe. This kind of intimacy can be had in friendships too, though we must be honest and take some risks.
I'll share my own story here...
I was really sad for part of this Christmas (as I have been other Christmases). But I felt stuck and like I didn't know how to get unstuck. I cried out to God to help me get out of my depression; to show me what the matter was. He broke through. Late one evening, something possessed me to open a box I had... where in a secret compartment I kept some keepsakes. I saw the little program for my mother's funeral, held on a February over 15 years ago. My mom was dying of cancer during that Christmas. Grief is a funny thing. It must come out. I didn't know I missed my mom until I saw the little program, with her name on it, her birth date and death date. Gone at 42, two days after her birthday. A little over a month after Christmas. I missed her. I miss her. I hadn't been allowing myself to miss her. I haven't had a mother since, but Jesus became my mother. That may sound funny, but it's true. He took me up when I was 19. From 14 to 19 I lost myself...but he recovered me, the real me, and has been recovering me since.
When I lose myself and get numb or very angry, he hasn't given up on me, but is working on finding me again, unshackling me.
That night, shortly after I had opened the box, and was deep in thought, Mike (my husband) came home). I told him I was sad, but the tears didn't come out until he came and put his arm around me... Sometimes we need a flesh and blood Jesus, if just for a few moments to remind us we are loved. We are all flesh and blood in desperate need of love, friendship, support.
God heard my cry-- that I was willing to deal with whatever was bothering me in those deep recesses of my mind. After all, He does know me much better than I know myself.