I would describe motherhood in today's modern age as an insane juggling act. I often feel like I'm just trying to figure out which ball is up and meanwhile, bam!, I get smacked by another ball I forgot about, and it knocks me down and so the other 20 balls (which are: laundry, groceries, driving, doctors, cleaning, teaching, playing, e-mails, phone calls (no way I'm getting on facebook!!), birthdays, driving some more, play dates, shopping, school stuff, and trying to squeeze in some time with my husband somewhere in there, and some time with friends and then some me time, God forbid.... and I haven't even mentioned all the sideballs- trials, inconveniences, problems...) come falling on top of me, and then I'm crawling around looking for some dumb balls and I'm like, what the heck...?
But I do love the challenge once I can get some down time and reflect on all of it. I do love my daughter so much and I'm lucky to have a husband who doesn't want me burned out and will help out (way) more than most husbands I know... he is pretty darn domestic and loves his daughter to pieces. So I'm counting these blessings. Recently, I was able to enroll Maggie in a morning school and although I have to drive for at least half the time she's there, I'm so enjoying it. Driving is so therapeutic. Just driving through the dessert roads, surrounded by mountains, palm trees and sunny skies is just what my soul needed. My thoughts clear and I can hear what I'm thinking and feeling. I've always loved driving and driving until things begin to make sense. It does help that these are "off roads" and not congested highways for the most part. Often, I like to listen to music, but lately I've just been listening to my thoughts, the silence, and such...
The school is so far away, but it is so perfect for our family in so many ways. It is a safe place for Maggie, out in the country, where she can experience nature all throughout the year. Her teacher is a gem too, and I'm a lover of the Montessori teaching method.
...God is good to us always amidst all the trials and heartache. I am very grateful he always shows up in tangible ways despite our messes.