Today was a beautiful day. I sat at a park and read some, thought some, and just sat. The trees sang with blooms. The grass danced with little flowers. The breeze carried some of my cares away. But not all of them...
Jesus said that in this world we would have tribulation, but to be of good cheer and not let our hearts be troubled. Only through God can we not let our hearts be troubled. Through His Spirit in us, for those of us who believe. Sometimes it's a process, just like the seasons. Sometimes the trees are bare and skeleton-like... and then spring comes and surprises us. We can't control it. We wait for spring. It comes at the right time, though it seems to tarry. The seasons change, but there will always be Spring
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
We are too busy
On my last blog I had been thinking about slowing down... how God blesses me when I do... Like when I go for a walk and just listen... that's where that "quote" came from. I don't think I'm Aristotle or anything.
I've really been thinking everyone is too busy. Why are we so busy? I thinks there’s a lot of reasons...
I have chronic fatigue syndrome which leaves me unable to be pointlessly busy for the most part. This can be a blessing in disguise...I know there’s a good kind of busyness and productiveness of course, but I’m talking about our restless need to always be doing something in order not to really think or feel, in order to perhaps escape our problems and pain or just life's common disappointments. It never works. It doesn’t.
What about all these “busy” people I see at Bread Co. They have their suits, their laptops and are by themselves; some of their faces despondent. Is busyness a cover for loneliness? Are crowds shuffling around together in loneliness? Have we lost our ability to connect? We’re all guarded, we’ve got a schedule to keep, no room for much
but do, do, do. We can barely respond to emergencies, because they’re not in our schedule or our programs. We probably don't even know what constitutes an emergency.
I know I'm talking in general terms here, so I'll be specific. I think we Americans are very selfish people. We worship comfort and entertainment. We have our plans for fun, and God forbid something or someone interfere with that, say, like a hurting friend or neighbor. God forbid we should include people in our "fun plans" that don't look, dress, or think like us, or that we don't know too well. We're just so shallow. I hope I can really fall out of this stupid box. We think we are righteous cause we've "scheduled" in time to help others. Well, what about the needs that don't fall within our schedule or our neat little agenda? There's plenty of those. They get totally overlooked or ignored. People get overlooked and forgotten.
Do I think goals are bad? No. Is planning bad? No. But are we pursuing our own goals to the exclusion of being a good neighbor, or of really caring for other people, which is what life is all about. Of course we can’t do that without God.
Yesterday, I heard on the radio some interesting statistics. Americans are the most bible illiterate we've ever been. Most Americans don't even know one of the ten commandments (and this includes church goers) and here's a funny/ sad thing--the most quoted "bible" verse is "God helps those who help themselves" which isn't even in the bible. Most people think this is one of the 10 commandments. If people live by this, no wonder everyone watches out for #1. We all do it. It's sick, but everyone else is doing it, so we think it's normal.
Without being still sometimes, we can’t even hear God. Our very busyness now may be the very thing that’s killing our soul or keeping it dead, though we might be too numb with comforts to notice, until it's too late? Hopefully not. I'm wakin' up. God help me. God help us.
I've really been thinking everyone is too busy. Why are we so busy? I thinks there’s a lot of reasons...
I have chronic fatigue syndrome which leaves me unable to be pointlessly busy for the most part. This can be a blessing in disguise...I know there’s a good kind of busyness and productiveness of course, but I’m talking about our restless need to always be doing something in order not to really think or feel, in order to perhaps escape our problems and pain or just life's common disappointments. It never works. It doesn’t.
What about all these “busy” people I see at Bread Co. They have their suits, their laptops and are by themselves; some of their faces despondent. Is busyness a cover for loneliness? Are crowds shuffling around together in loneliness? Have we lost our ability to connect? We’re all guarded, we’ve got a schedule to keep, no room for much
but do, do, do. We can barely respond to emergencies, because they’re not in our schedule or our programs. We probably don't even know what constitutes an emergency.
I know I'm talking in general terms here, so I'll be specific. I think we Americans are very selfish people. We worship comfort and entertainment. We have our plans for fun, and God forbid something or someone interfere with that, say, like a hurting friend or neighbor. God forbid we should include people in our "fun plans" that don't look, dress, or think like us, or that we don't know too well. We're just so shallow. I hope I can really fall out of this stupid box. We think we are righteous cause we've "scheduled" in time to help others. Well, what about the needs that don't fall within our schedule or our neat little agenda? There's plenty of those. They get totally overlooked or ignored. People get overlooked and forgotten.
Do I think goals are bad? No. Is planning bad? No. But are we pursuing our own goals to the exclusion of being a good neighbor, or of really caring for other people, which is what life is all about. Of course we can’t do that without God.
Yesterday, I heard on the radio some interesting statistics. Americans are the most bible illiterate we've ever been. Most Americans don't even know one of the ten commandments (and this includes church goers) and here's a funny/ sad thing--the most quoted "bible" verse is "God helps those who help themselves" which isn't even in the bible. Most people think this is one of the 10 commandments. If people live by this, no wonder everyone watches out for #1. We all do it. It's sick, but everyone else is doing it, so we think it's normal.
Without being still sometimes, we can’t even hear God. Our very busyness now may be the very thing that’s killing our soul or keeping it dead, though we might be too numb with comforts to notice, until it's too late? Hopefully not. I'm wakin' up. God help me. God help us.
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Keep your eyes open
Keep your eyes open. Don't look too hard for what isn't there, but don't rush along missing what is. Something may speak to you. Something may surprise you. You don't have to stumble along. Keep your eyes open. Don't accept everything at face value. Things are always deeper than the surface. See the beauty
Monday, February 5, 2007
Everything changes
Okay, this morning, God spoke to me through a paper towel (this is domestic life on the edge!). Now, before you question my sanity let me just say that it was one of those lovely paper towels with a quote written on it... This one said " Everything in life we really accept, undergoes a change".... I read it right as I was taking a bite out of my potato pancake. Wow, I thought, that's pretty deep. It's not something I've ever heard put that way. EVERYTHING in LIFE we REALLY ACCEPT UNDERGOES A CHANGE. Maybe I'm dense, but this was a revelatory moment. Think of it. Nothing in this life is unchanging. Nothing. Not a thing. Everything gets either old, broken, better, worse, moves, dies, is born, is lost, is forgotten, grows, is rebuilt or torn down. Positive and negative changes, but constant changes all the time. The hardest one to deal with is probably death and the fact we're all headed there. (This is probably why much science is striving to do every thing it can to prolong life or control it (from freezing bodies to human cloning)
But back to the quote, it also translated THIS way to me-- "ANYONE in life YOU TRULY ACCEPT (including YOURSELF) undergoes a change."
It's so true on so many levels. We age, grow, learn, fall down, get lost, get back up, get "religious" or get nonreligious, have faith or lose it.
But who's character never changes, who's? Who doesn't age or get moody. Who never stumbles or blows it? Who is ALWAYS good?
And what about the constant small changes-- bad weather, bad moods, getting sick, awful traffic, flight changes, plans changed.
Not all change is bad of course, but even the good changes can't last forever... Those sweet moments in life come and go. We have to let them go. I can't cradle my little daughter in my arms forever. We have to let people go too. Children grow up. Friends move or we move, or people just move on.... I've moved well over 10 times (lived in 6 different states and another continent for 12 years.)
This got me thinking... is there anything unchanging? Anything I can totally and absolutely count on never changing? And I realized that there isn't a single any thing but God alone. He remains the same-- He always has been, always will be who He is-- always GOOD. Always a ROCK. (I also realized that some of the sickest people around are those who reject any change at all costs... that's another blog topic though).
Only He could be the anchor for me in this often tumultuous, ever changing life.
But back to the quote, it also translated THIS way to me-- "ANYONE in life YOU TRULY ACCEPT (including YOURSELF) undergoes a change."
It's so true on so many levels. We age, grow, learn, fall down, get lost, get back up, get "religious" or get nonreligious, have faith or lose it.
But who's character never changes, who's? Who doesn't age or get moody. Who never stumbles or blows it? Who is ALWAYS good?
And what about the constant small changes-- bad weather, bad moods, getting sick, awful traffic, flight changes, plans changed.
Not all change is bad of course, but even the good changes can't last forever... Those sweet moments in life come and go. We have to let them go. I can't cradle my little daughter in my arms forever. We have to let people go too. Children grow up. Friends move or we move, or people just move on.... I've moved well over 10 times (lived in 6 different states and another continent for 12 years.)
This got me thinking... is there anything unchanging? Anything I can totally and absolutely count on never changing? And I realized that there isn't a single any thing but God alone. He remains the same-- He always has been, always will be who He is-- always GOOD. Always a ROCK. (I also realized that some of the sickest people around are those who reject any change at all costs... that's another blog topic though).
Only He could be the anchor for me in this often tumultuous, ever changing life.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Knowing and being known
No one can really know or understand us quite as well as God can and does. No one can love us more completely, deeply or wisely. No one. I want to rest in God's love. It's the only place to really rest. It's the only place where I can breathe deep, rest my head and have peace.
Sometimes I get very frustrated with some people. I think, they just don't get me at all. They don't really know or understand much about me or what I'm talking about. And some people just really don't, just as I don't understand much about physics, for example.
But God understands EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING. This amazes me. He understands all sciences and arts. EVERYTHING. It's mind-blowing. Not only does he know all, but knows me intimately and still loves me. He understands what makes me tick, what makes me mad, and why. He's not too big for me and He's not too small to get it all. He's not too preocuppied with world affairs to hear my prayer. In fact, the bible says He knows how many hairs we each have. That's way more than we care to know. But He's way higher than we are, but very close too. Such a mystery and such a comfort. Jesus brought God close again through His sacrifice.
God came down, in His Son, to show His love.
He is the way to knowing God.
Sometimes I get very frustrated with some people. I think, they just don't get me at all. They don't really know or understand much about me or what I'm talking about. And some people just really don't, just as I don't understand much about physics, for example.
But God understands EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING. This amazes me. He understands all sciences and arts. EVERYTHING. It's mind-blowing. Not only does he know all, but knows me intimately and still loves me. He understands what makes me tick, what makes me mad, and why. He's not too big for me and He's not too small to get it all. He's not too preocuppied with world affairs to hear my prayer. In fact, the bible says He knows how many hairs we each have. That's way more than we care to know. But He's way higher than we are, but very close too. Such a mystery and such a comfort. Jesus brought God close again through His sacrifice.
God came down, in His Son, to show His love.
He is the way to knowing God.
Friday, December 29, 2006
On depression
We had dinner with some new friends tonight and I shared some thoughts I have about depression... I think that part of the reason so many people are depressed is because they are sad and have no one to talk to. Grief can't be carried alone. We must have someone we can talk to who cares. Someone who will just listen, with a caring heart. Yeah, Jesus is there, but it's nice to have a flesh and blood person too, sometimes. If we are married, our spouse should be there... Though he or she may not be perfect, we must feel safe and like they care, that is the essence of real intimacy, I believe. This kind of intimacy can be had in friendships too, though we must be honest and take some risks.
I'll share my own story here...
I was really sad for part of this Christmas (as I have been other Christmases). But I felt stuck and like I didn't know how to get unstuck. I cried out to God to help me get out of my depression; to show me what the matter was. He broke through. Late one evening, something possessed me to open a box I had... where in a secret compartment I kept some keepsakes. I saw the little program for my mother's funeral, held on a February over 15 years ago. My mom was dying of cancer during that Christmas. Grief is a funny thing. It must come out. I didn't know I missed my mom until I saw the little program, with her name on it, her birth date and death date. Gone at 42, two days after her birthday. A little over a month after Christmas. I missed her. I miss her. I hadn't been allowing myself to miss her. I haven't had a mother since, but Jesus became my mother. That may sound funny, but it's true. He took me up when I was 19. From 14 to 19 I lost myself...but he recovered me, the real me, and has been recovering me since.
When I lose myself and get numb or very angry, he hasn't given up on me, but is working on finding me again, unshackling me.
That night, shortly after I had opened the box, and was deep in thought, Mike (my husband) came home). I told him I was sad, but the tears didn't come out until he came and put his arm around me... Sometimes we need a flesh and blood Jesus, if just for a few moments to remind us we are loved. We are all flesh and blood in desperate need of love, friendship, support.
God heard my cry-- that I was willing to deal with whatever was bothering me in those deep recesses of my mind. After all, He does know me much better than I know myself.
I'll share my own story here...
I was really sad for part of this Christmas (as I have been other Christmases). But I felt stuck and like I didn't know how to get unstuck. I cried out to God to help me get out of my depression; to show me what the matter was. He broke through. Late one evening, something possessed me to open a box I had... where in a secret compartment I kept some keepsakes. I saw the little program for my mother's funeral, held on a February over 15 years ago. My mom was dying of cancer during that Christmas. Grief is a funny thing. It must come out. I didn't know I missed my mom until I saw the little program, with her name on it, her birth date and death date. Gone at 42, two days after her birthday. A little over a month after Christmas. I missed her. I miss her. I hadn't been allowing myself to miss her. I haven't had a mother since, but Jesus became my mother. That may sound funny, but it's true. He took me up when I was 19. From 14 to 19 I lost myself...but he recovered me, the real me, and has been recovering me since.
When I lose myself and get numb or very angry, he hasn't given up on me, but is working on finding me again, unshackling me.
That night, shortly after I had opened the box, and was deep in thought, Mike (my husband) came home). I told him I was sad, but the tears didn't come out until he came and put his arm around me... Sometimes we need a flesh and blood Jesus, if just for a few moments to remind us we are loved. We are all flesh and blood in desperate need of love, friendship, support.
God heard my cry-- that I was willing to deal with whatever was bothering me in those deep recesses of my mind. After all, He does know me much better than I know myself.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Bittersweet Christmas
Hello again. Here's the poem. I wrote it last Christmas...
Peace and Love to you.
Oh, bittersweet Christmas
Is this time special, I don’t know
So much traffic, but nothing’s slow
Are hearts yearning with delight,
or just weary from the fight?
Is there love beneath the gifts,
smiles of grace, or bitter rifts?
Is there longing for a peace,
to fill our days with real release,
Or is it just another strain,
of hiding sorrow, drowning pain
And what memories haunt your sight,
Lovely days or bitter nights?
If you sing, sing with hope for a new strain
And if you cry, let the Savior take your pain
Pray for love to come again
Let yourself be as you are
whether you know what or why
Know that He for you did come
and for the broken- every one.
And if you heart is filled with glee
share it with humanity,
with hearts weary from the storm
that tried to kill the Savior born
The storm that lives and taunts today
even on this Christmas day.
So if you sing, sing with love
with compassion from above
Knowing that for this He came
to love the broken,
take their shame
To teach the willing- heal the hurt
To love the wounded
Redeem the earth.
Dec. 2005 ©Manuela R.
Peace and Love to you.
Oh, bittersweet Christmas
Is this time special, I don’t know
So much traffic, but nothing’s slow
Are hearts yearning with delight,
or just weary from the fight?
Is there love beneath the gifts,
smiles of grace, or bitter rifts?
Is there longing for a peace,
to fill our days with real release,
Or is it just another strain,
of hiding sorrow, drowning pain
And what memories haunt your sight,
Lovely days or bitter nights?
If you sing, sing with hope for a new strain
And if you cry, let the Savior take your pain
Pray for love to come again
Let yourself be as you are
whether you know what or why
Know that He for you did come
and for the broken- every one.
And if you heart is filled with glee
share it with humanity,
with hearts weary from the storm
that tried to kill the Savior born
The storm that lives and taunts today
even on this Christmas day.
So if you sing, sing with love
with compassion from above
Knowing that for this He came
to love the broken,
take their shame
To teach the willing- heal the hurt
To love the wounded
Redeem the earth.
Dec. 2005 ©Manuela R.
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