Strep throat and the state of things

Today I found out I had strep throat, fun-fun. At least there was something observably wrong with me that could be treated; cause I felt so very crummy. I tried to shrug it off and set off to take my daughter to the Zoo. Thankfully she said she didn't want to go(!?) and so I faced the music and went to the doc. Once I found out I was officially sick I made sure to tell everyone I came accross. My denial turned into drama, quite quickly.
Isn't that how we work on so many levels. We know the world and many things aren't quite right, but we just continue to function or try to over-function, doing what we've always done. But the signals don't dissappear, do they? Have we settled for less than good health? Are we refusing to go to the doctor of our souls? Who is the only one who can bring real relief? Only Jesus. Only Abba. Only Spirit. He so wants to set us free (So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed- from John 8, what a cool chapter by the way) But do we chose bondage? Are we too scared to walk the path of the wind? Do we settle for control of our lives, stagnant predictability.
Lately I've been re-pondering the immensity of God, how much bigger he is than all that we know. How much more wonderful and how much more satisfying than we let him be, I believe. He's just bigger and can't be contained. He busts right out of our little boxes. He'll make his debut, and after he's rejected, he'll go elsewhere and possibly come back later (that's what Jesus did during his time on earth, in the places/towns he visited) He wanted them to get Him, to get Life.
God is sold short. If we are sick and dissatisfied in our soul, then He's not really our God but some sad caricature we've contrived. And we've sold our Love for the keeping of rules (that's a line from Waterdeep, my favorite band--
"Do I have enough compassion or have I sold all my love for the keeping of rules
Am I so much in fashion, that I forgot I was born to a family of fools"- from You were at the time for love)
God is love and he's been sold for the keeping of rules, or the keeping of power, or the keeping of wealth

Aaaaaahhhhhh

My friend sent me this... I couldn't resist posting it. I'm a cat lover (and dog lover and animal lover) Isn't it ridiculously amazing and sweet! (read below pics)
HOW strong the maternal "instinct'' is!!! God is good-





Pork Chops or cubs?
In a zoo in California, a mother tiger gave birth to a rare set of triplet tiger cubs. Unfortunately, due to complications in the pregnancy, the cubs were born prematurely and due to their tiny size, they died shortly after birth.

The mother tiger, after recovering from the delivery, suddenly started to decline in health, although physically she was fine. The veterinarians felt that the loss of her litter had caused the tigress to fall into a depression. The doctors decided that if the tigress could surrogate another mother's cubs, perhaps she would improve.

After checking with many other zoos across the country, the depressing news was that there were no tiger cubs of the right age to introduce to the mourning mother. The veterinarians decided to try something that had never been tried in a zoo environment. Sometimes a mother of one species will take on the care of a different species. The only 'orphans' that could be found quickly were a litter of weaning pigs. The zoo keepers and vets wrapped the piglets in tiger skin and placed the babies around the mother tiger. Would they become cubs or pork chops??
Take a look...

Now, please tell me one more time......
Why can't the rest of the world get along??"

Process

I just thank God that our healing and sanctification is a process. I know Jesus said " it is finished," but I've come to see the way it plays out here, on our day to day, as not finished, but a slow and often painful process. As far as eternity is concerned, he accomplished it all, he will complete the work he begun in us. Thank goodness for that. So all this makes for very messy relationships in one way or another-- that's why grace is so desperately needed (forgiveness and reconciliation). But even forgiveness and reconciliation are a process, they can't be forced. Jesus died for the sins of the whole world, but he is still reconciling the world to himself-- again, process. Not everyone accepts his offer of forgiveness. Many do not receive him, at least, not yet. So today I'm just thinking of the "process" of it all. God's still working... there is grace for me today in my shortcomings, as I abide in Him. Free to be me and learn and grow because He loves me, and I love him.
I just wanna praise him, don't you?

No matter what you do

Couldn't figure out how to rotate this...
Must share this with you blog friends... I'm writing it in green because Maggie's favorite color is green
What a wonderful little girl we have...
Today she said she wrote a song (bear in mind she's only 3)
It goes " No matter what you do, no matter what you do"
She came and woke me up singing it. She said "i write songs like you mama"
It's a catchy tune. She kept singing it and I asked her-- what is it about? AND she said-- "it means you're happy and thankful for God and it makes you happy when you're sad."
WOW she already knows, God her father loves her "no matter what you do." A simple, refreshing child's faith. No complications. She knows she's loved and that alone is making her kind and sweet. There's no other foundation so strong and sure. We must be doing some things right, by God's grace.
Not to analyze the simplicity...but she gets what some of us just can't get or accept-- God couldn't possibly love me if he really knew me..... but he does
"... God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
I happen to know that she knows that it does matter if one is truthful or obedient or kind.... that's not what she was singing about. She was singing about God's unconditional love, even when we fail, hurt or mess up, His love doesn't go away ever--how deep and wide it is....
THANK YOU JESUS for Maggie!!!

Poem...

The Wounded Soul

Oh, the wounded soul can
doubt too rashly
fall too quickly
drown too easily
ache too deeply

but oh, the wounded soul can
long so immensely
look so earnestly
hope so valiantly
seek so vehemently

There is healing for the wounded soul
who will but seek it
even with a fumbling heart and hands

He will come with the surgeon's tools
and the ache will bring about
a sweet and lovely relief
in time
and time again

Luke 11:9-10
"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

****************************************

The best wounds are the wounds of a soldier who is fighting for love. The weapons are invisible but mighty. The wounds deep but beautiful. Just look at the Savior's wrists

Messy entry (unedited)

Note: This will be a minimally edited post (unspelled-checked, etc). I have 50 plus others yet to be posted because, well, they weren't perfect enough...This is a BIG step for me. I purposely won't spell check it to rebel against my perfectionism so sorry if it hurts some eyes, not that I have many readers. Note to self: it's just a blog entry, MY GOSH!

Sometimes I wonder if it is just virtually impossible to lead an organized life AND be loving person (especially when you have little ones to tend to). To keep up with today's demands is much like a juggling act, it demands so much time, energy and attention (where are our license plate receipts? who knows and who cares, (except I got a ticket for being late renewing my plates) I think it would take so much time organizing and compiling all my auto papers that I'd be so frustrated once I got to the license bureau and was told I had the wrong papers anyway. Does anyone ever have the right papers? To do so, in my opinion, would mean you wasted a little more time than I did (including my going to some other office to get the right copies, that we had lost). Granted, you probably didn't spend as much money as me, but hey, time is money. So the question is, what is there left to give to others once we achieve total organization? (I wouldn't know cause I'm so far off). Of course there are degrees of organized as there are degrees of chaos... and each person's view of which is which varies. The single organized person probably can not comprehend the mom's relative chaos. And the organized mom with two kids could easily judge the "messy" college student. I guess it all boils down to what is important to you... and whether or not you judge people by externals including yourself.
I could definately have less mess, but only just a little less. What I seem to need is more time (and more sleep). Maybe less mess would give me more time, but I know that complete organization (at least while I have a three year old) is an evil ideal to place on myself. Well, it's just an evil ideal for me anyway (considering my temperament...) It's just a plain evil ideal period.
Once upon a time (before I really knew adult responsibilities in this modern-blink-and-have-it-done-society and I wasn't married WITH children), I was orderly, but I was also more of a control-freak too. ( God has been chipping away at that) ...Maybe my problem is that I equate organization with control-freakness (in myself) and I've rebelled against myself.
Still, the demands of today are nuts. Who has time to have it all together and be available for people in any way? Sometimes I think-- only relationally constipated control-freaks or people with a lot of money and maid/s is the answer. But I can see this is pretty judgemental... just slightly (i've just known too many of those types). Who isn't jaded and judgemental in some way? I wish I could say I wasn't. But i seek to do what is right, what is most important for me.
I'm tempted to "should" myself and think "I probably should be cleaning something right now instead of blogging." But I know I'd be miserable doing anyhting out of mere guilt. My over-active mind needs me to write....But for now I'm done.
Peace to all-- organized or not.
Motto for the perfectionist only-- Seize the day, there's always going to be crap to clean up (but don't be a complete slob to overcompensate for the perfectionism) Be a slob because you are free to be one but you are also free to clean up. Hey, I'm free. Christ has set me free. Okay, I'm done. Now you've seen how crazy I am ( all you two readers!) Good night. I need to get help. No more notes to self. I can't stop...! Help.

No pain, no gain...

When I was a new Christian I remember reading this verse-- "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Corinthians 12:10)." Honestly, it freaked me out. I told God I basically didn't want to suffer much more. My youth had been pretty hard and I thought "everything should all be uphill from here..."
But now I've come to see that that it's a very good thing to see and feel my neediness, my brokenness-- it's my ticket to grace. (The sermon at our fellowship this past Sunday was about this too-- how we're all needy, really). I've always known this way down deep, and when I forget, God has a way of re-teaching me.
This brokenness is what continually brings me to my knees, so that He can be my strength. It shows me I can not be self-sufficient. And so I live a life of faith, not perfectly, but devoted to One love. He does remold my dreams time and again; and they are lovely dreams when I can see them. But the life of faith is not seen with human eyes.
The proud shake their heads at the needy and broken, but so what. They don't get it yet and are missing out, afraid of what they don't understand. They don't see their need at all. Don't we tend to judge what we don't understand? We fear what we don't understand and we judge by appearances. We can all look great and act like we've got it together and even say that we do...but what is going on inside, really? That's what God sees. Why do we feel the need to hide who we really are? I don't feel that need, never have been too good at pretending anyway. I am who I am-- flawed but loved, a sinner saved and continually saved. Maybe I could use more wisdom about whom I share my deeper struggles with, but I am not going to hide who I am.
So, when it comes to pain (grief, hardships, struggles, persecution) what I CAN say is that she has been my friend. Maybe not a "fun" friend, but the one that's held the most wisdom. Pain is a welcome friend if that's what it takes. Many of us run from grief and difficulties, but only through these can we grow and truly learn. Ultimately, though, we are to follow the Spirit's leading (I'm not saying be a masochist and look for pain). If we follow Christ, pain will find us-- we'll grieve for and with others, we'll feel the sting of living in a world ruled by Satan (the prince of the air)... How can we not feel pain? How can we not weep? God weeps for all the callous hearts that just won't learn, after every thing He's done and shown. I'm sure God weeps-- The Spirit intercedes with moans and cries too deep for words....(Rom 8:22)
On the other side of pain is a deep and abiding joy, I know it. Pain
comes and unravels us and then Joy surprises us.

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy." (Psalm 126:5)